At the beginning of each year, roughly 45% of Americans make new year's resolutions. Most of these resolutions pertain to health (lose weight), happiness (enjoy life more) or a new skill (learn a new language). Most are sincere when they make them, but only 8% of Americans are successful at changing their new resolutions into reality. Another 38% of Americans swear off the notion of making New Year's Resolutions. For further information, check out:
http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
A Little Inspiration: Check out the following link to see how one person set life 127 life goals when he was 15, and has spent a lifetime achieving them. www.johngoddard.info/life_list.htm
Author's Perspective: This seems like a no-brainer. A new year's resolution is nothing more than a stated or written goal. It is good to set goals, but if you don't follow through on them, it is just a waste of time. It's kind of like the goal I would set at the beginning of each semester "not to procrastinate anymore" after pulling too many all-nighters the prior semester. Without changing behavior, that goal will never materialize.
To turn a goal into reality is relatively simple:
1. Write it down and put it in a visible place.
2. Make it public so others can reinforce your efforts.
3. Write down small, specific steps needed to attain that goal.
4. Work hard to accomplish those small steps and cross them off the list.
I used to be part of the 38% who swore off resolutions. I thought it was silly to pick one time of year to make goals. It was the same rationale I had for sending flowers on Valentine's Day (why send flowers on a prescribed date when I can do it any day of the year). I changed my mind a few years ago when I decided to teach my girls to set goals for themselves. Somehow the logic of the new year made sense.
My New Year's Resolutions: 1) memorize the 44 presidents of the United States and teach them to my 7 year old, 2) learn to play the guitar and 3) live a simpler lifestyle. Learning the presidents is easy enough - break open the book of president's at the breakfast table and review them. Set a small goal to learn three a week and set a major goal to recite them all by Memorial Day. Likewise, the goals for learning to play the guitar are pretty straight forward. Find a person who gives lessons and schedule the lessons. Set aside time to practice each week. The last resolution is more difficult. This one requires me to define what a "simpler lifestyle" means, discuss it at length with my wife and make big and small changes. Believe me, listing them here would bore you to death.
Your Turn:
1) What is your opinion about setting new year's resolutions? Why do you believe that?
2) Write down what your resolutions are for this year? Write down the steps to achieve them? This is essentially your assignment for week 2 anyway.
3) Why do you think only 8% achieve their resolutions?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Lance Armstrong Deserves No Credit for Coming Clean
Sometime this week, Oprah Winfrey will interview Lance Armstrong and he is expected to guardedly admit that he used performance enhancing drugs during his tenure of winning 7 Tour de France titles. This confession will contradict his denials over the past decade to the contrary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juVzHD7NEgk (before interview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biIvT_r-DQg (part 1 of interview - watch first 5 minutes)
Author's Perspective: Lance Armstrong has a team of advisors, publicists & lawyers who, for the past month, have been debating about whether or not Lance should come clean about using performance enhancing drugs (a.k.a. cheating). That's all I need to hear. When someone needs to weigh their options and understand the consequences of being honest, they lose all credibility with me. This is called situational ethics, and in my opinion, the truth should not depend on the circumstances. It should not be calculated and weighed by a group of advisors.
When Armstrong is crying (something his advisors are probably debating right now) to Oprah this week about how he couldn't deal with the guilt, I will not be watching or listening because I know that he is a phony. Lance Armstrong's decision to come clean was a calculated decision made in the best interest of Lance Armstrong.
Moral of the Story: Do the right thing, play by the rules and be honest. If and when you screw up, admit it and move on. If Armstrong had lived by this code, he would not be in this situation. He might have still won a Tour de France or two or he would have finished runner up several times. He would have been known as the guy who overcame cancer and gave it everything he had. His reputation would have been intact. Now, he is simply known as a cheater and a fraud.
Your Turn:
1) Do you think I am being too harsh on Lance? What is your response to his "coming clean?"
2) It is tempting to lie or cheat in order to gain favor, finances or fame. Do you think it is worth it to do so? Have you ever done so (I have)?
3) Would you rather have a solid reputation based on character or fame based on false pretenses?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juVzHD7NEgk (before interview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biIvT_r-DQg (part 1 of interview - watch first 5 minutes)
Author's Perspective: Lance Armstrong has a team of advisors, publicists & lawyers who, for the past month, have been debating about whether or not Lance should come clean about using performance enhancing drugs (a.k.a. cheating). That's all I need to hear. When someone needs to weigh their options and understand the consequences of being honest, they lose all credibility with me. This is called situational ethics, and in my opinion, the truth should not depend on the circumstances. It should not be calculated and weighed by a group of advisors.
When Armstrong is crying (something his advisors are probably debating right now) to Oprah this week about how he couldn't deal with the guilt, I will not be watching or listening because I know that he is a phony. Lance Armstrong's decision to come clean was a calculated decision made in the best interest of Lance Armstrong.
Moral of the Story: Do the right thing, play by the rules and be honest. If and when you screw up, admit it and move on. If Armstrong had lived by this code, he would not be in this situation. He might have still won a Tour de France or two or he would have finished runner up several times. He would have been known as the guy who overcame cancer and gave it everything he had. His reputation would have been intact. Now, he is simply known as a cheater and a fraud.
Your Turn:
1) Do you think I am being too harsh on Lance? What is your response to his "coming clean?"
2) It is tempting to lie or cheat in order to gain favor, finances or fame. Do you think it is worth it to do so? Have you ever done so (I have)?
3) Would you rather have a solid reputation based on character or fame based on false pretenses?
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Finding My Voice About Sandy Hook
On December 14, 2012, a man broke into his mother's locked gun case and proceeded to kill his mother in her sleep. Fully loaded with guns and bullets, he forced his way through a security system at Sandy Hook Elementary School. He subsequently killed 26 people, including 20 first graders. He then turned the gun on himself.
Author's Perspective: To be honest, for the past several weeks I could not find my voice on this issue and had no idea what to write about. The sadness... the senselessness... the devastation... the heartbreak... It was too overwhelming... too difficult to face.
I have a Ph.D. in this psychology stuff and I can't begin to understand this kind of madness. The questions of why will never be answered and each question leads me down a different dead end path.
1) Should we ban assault riffles and have stricter gun laws in this country? Would this have mattered?
2) Should we provide armed guards at every school in America?
3) Should we take better care of our mentally ill in America?
4) Should we eliminate the coverage of this murderer in hopes of dissuading future psychos who want infamy for going out in a blaze of unglory?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vhdWElfNqQ (a special tribute to the victims)
Those questions are for you and others to contemplate. My thoughts and my voice are reserved for the victims. These innocent victims who should have spent Christmas with their families. My heart aches for the poor families of the survivors who are unable to spend 2013 and every other year with their departed loved-ones. I shake my head at the power that one person can have over the lives of so many. It all makes me so very sad and brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it, as it should.
I have known too many people who have been devastated by similar, but not as well-known shooting disasters. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand. My wish for 2013 is that we have a cultural shift emphasizing and celebrating the importance of every human life.
Author's Perspective: To be honest, for the past several weeks I could not find my voice on this issue and had no idea what to write about. The sadness... the senselessness... the devastation... the heartbreak... It was too overwhelming... too difficult to face.
I have a Ph.D. in this psychology stuff and I can't begin to understand this kind of madness. The questions of why will never be answered and each question leads me down a different dead end path.
1) Should we ban assault riffles and have stricter gun laws in this country? Would this have mattered?
2) Should we provide armed guards at every school in America?
3) Should we take better care of our mentally ill in America?
4) Should we eliminate the coverage of this murderer in hopes of dissuading future psychos who want infamy for going out in a blaze of unglory?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vhdWElfNqQ (a special tribute to the victims)
Those questions are for you and others to contemplate. My thoughts and my voice are reserved for the victims. These innocent victims who should have spent Christmas with their families. My heart aches for the poor families of the survivors who are unable to spend 2013 and every other year with their departed loved-ones. I shake my head at the power that one person can have over the lives of so many. It all makes me so very sad and brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it, as it should.
I have known too many people who have been devastated by similar, but not as well-known shooting disasters. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand. My wish for 2013 is that we have a cultural shift emphasizing and celebrating the importance of every human life.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Students Choose Holding Hands As Punishment for Fighting
Two male students got into a fight at Westood High School in Mesa, Arizona. The principal decided to give these students an option - either get suspended or hold hands for one hour in front of other students. Both students chose to hold hands and forgo the suspension. Sounds innocent enough. However, during the one hour punishment, fellow students laughed at them, mocked them and called them names. Students took pictures and placed them on social media sites.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/30/westwood-high-school-hold-hands-punishment_n_2218698.html
Point: These two boys fought on school grounds. The principal tried to think of a creative alternative other than the easy 2 days of suspension and missed school time. While unconventional, I am sure the principal wanted to teach a lesson that runs contrary to violence, aggression and fighting. He decided holding hands would fit the bill. He presented the options to the students and gave them the choice. The principal did not "force" them to hold hands, the students chose it. The principal nor the two boys could foresee how immature the other students would act.
Counterpoint: Even though the students "chose" this form of punishment, it was cruel and unusual punishment. Some say it invited taunting and teasing. Some say that two males holding hands is not an appropriate form of punishment because it offends gay individuals and sends the wrong message. In addition, the principal should have run this punishment by the school board before-hand and he should have forseen how this whole incident would play itself out in these modern times.
Author's Perspective: To be honest, I don't know if this was good leadership that showed creativity or poor leadership that lacked insensitivity. What sparked my interest in this story is what happened next: 1) The school board began talking about firing the principal. 2) In response, the students showed their unity for their principal by (get this) holding hands to create a massive human link of support. They even made t-shirts for the protest that read, "Keep Calm - Hold Hands." Using irony and metaphor to make such a powerful point is genius. Here is their point - you don't fire someone based on one controversial decision. Stop burning people at the stake because they tried something outside the box. For if you do, only leaders without imagination or courage will remain!
http://www.usatoday.com/media/cinematic/video/1747533/principal-makes-two-fighting-students-hold-hands/
Your Turn
1) What is your opinion about how the principal handled this incident? If you were the principal, what would you have done?
2) If you disagree with the punishment of the principal, do you think he should have been fired?
3) Do you feel the principal had good intentions or did he deliberately do this to humiliate them?
4) Maybe the punishment wasn't the problem. Maybe the problem was the students' response to the punishment. What level of blame should the student body take for teasing and harassing the boys?
5) If this is a learning point, what did you learn from this entire incident?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/30/westwood-high-school-hold-hands-punishment_n_2218698.html
Point: These two boys fought on school grounds. The principal tried to think of a creative alternative other than the easy 2 days of suspension and missed school time. While unconventional, I am sure the principal wanted to teach a lesson that runs contrary to violence, aggression and fighting. He decided holding hands would fit the bill. He presented the options to the students and gave them the choice. The principal did not "force" them to hold hands, the students chose it. The principal nor the two boys could foresee how immature the other students would act.
Counterpoint: Even though the students "chose" this form of punishment, it was cruel and unusual punishment. Some say it invited taunting and teasing. Some say that two males holding hands is not an appropriate form of punishment because it offends gay individuals and sends the wrong message. In addition, the principal should have run this punishment by the school board before-hand and he should have forseen how this whole incident would play itself out in these modern times.
Author's Perspective: To be honest, I don't know if this was good leadership that showed creativity or poor leadership that lacked insensitivity. What sparked my interest in this story is what happened next: 1) The school board began talking about firing the principal. 2) In response, the students showed their unity for their principal by (get this) holding hands to create a massive human link of support. They even made t-shirts for the protest that read, "Keep Calm - Hold Hands." Using irony and metaphor to make such a powerful point is genius. Here is their point - you don't fire someone based on one controversial decision. Stop burning people at the stake because they tried something outside the box. For if you do, only leaders without imagination or courage will remain!
http://www.usatoday.com/media/cinematic/video/1747533/principal-makes-two-fighting-students-hold-hands/
Your Turn
1) What is your opinion about how the principal handled this incident? If you were the principal, what would you have done?
2) If you disagree with the punishment of the principal, do you think he should have been fired?
3) Do you feel the principal had good intentions or did he deliberately do this to humiliate them?
4) Maybe the punishment wasn't the problem. Maybe the problem was the students' response to the punishment. What level of blame should the student body take for teasing and harassing the boys?
5) If this is a learning point, what did you learn from this entire incident?
Thursday, December 6, 2012
A Season of Giving
Andre Johnson, a wide receiver, for the Houston Texans, took 12 kids on an 80 second shopping spree at Toys R Us this week. These kids were chosen by Child Protective Services because they had especially difficult circumstances of abuse and neglect. Each child was given a cart and 80 seconds to gather as many toys as they could... and could they ever. The final tab was just over $19,000. Johnson said after the event, "That's what this season is about. It's something I look forward to. The kids are happy, they get what they want for Christmas, and that's all that matters."
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/texans-wr-andre-johnson-drops-19k-toy-shopping-205258442--nfl.html (article)
A Country of Giving: I couldn't agree more with Mr. Johnson's statement. Let's remember that there are thousands of individuals and foundations that set aside money and time to help disadvantaged youth. It should also be noted that donating time and money is not just for the rich. In 2010, 88% of Americans stated that they donated time and money to charity for a combined total of $291 billion.
Personal Giving: Two weeks ago my two eldest daughters (6 and 5 years old) and I spent a Saturday packing 1,500 shoe boxes full of clothing, stuffed animals, candy and toys. The recipients are children in third-world countries who have never received a gift in their lives. Each December we visit our bank and select several families to provide Christmas presents. We are continually surprised by the 5 year old who wants gloves or boots instead of a toy. My wife takes our kids to a senior citizen's home to spread our smiles, enthusiasm and well-wishes. This year we selected a soldier to send gifts and cards to while he is serving our country in the Middle East. In a few short years, I plan to take our kids to the Lansing Soup Kitchen on Christmas so my children can appreciate how fortunate they are to have a house and food in the frig.
Your Turn:
1) So, what about you? What do you do to give back? What can you do to make a difference? If you have donated before, how did it make you feel?
2) Has anyone ever helped you out in a time of need? What did that mean to you?
3) It's that time of year. With the help of your class, your family or your friends, can you develop a plan to help others who are less fortunate than you?
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/texans-wr-andre-johnson-drops-19k-toy-shopping-205258442--nfl.html (article)
A Country of Giving: I couldn't agree more with Mr. Johnson's statement. Let's remember that there are thousands of individuals and foundations that set aside money and time to help disadvantaged youth. It should also be noted that donating time and money is not just for the rich. In 2010, 88% of Americans stated that they donated time and money to charity for a combined total of $291 billion.
Personal Giving: Two weeks ago my two eldest daughters (6 and 5 years old) and I spent a Saturday packing 1,500 shoe boxes full of clothing, stuffed animals, candy and toys. The recipients are children in third-world countries who have never received a gift in their lives. Each December we visit our bank and select several families to provide Christmas presents. We are continually surprised by the 5 year old who wants gloves or boots instead of a toy. My wife takes our kids to a senior citizen's home to spread our smiles, enthusiasm and well-wishes. This year we selected a soldier to send gifts and cards to while he is serving our country in the Middle East. In a few short years, I plan to take our kids to the Lansing Soup Kitchen on Christmas so my children can appreciate how fortunate they are to have a house and food in the frig.
Your Turn:
1) So, what about you? What do you do to give back? What can you do to make a difference? If you have donated before, how did it make you feel?
2) Has anyone ever helped you out in a time of need? What did that mean to you?
3) It's that time of year. With the help of your class, your family or your friends, can you develop a plan to help others who are less fortunate than you?
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Black Friday should stay on Friday!
Only in America... do we set aside the fourth Thursday in November for the sole purpose of getting together with family and friends to give thanks for the many blessings in our lives. A wonderful day of reflection, family and traditions. And, on the very next day, we put all that aside to get up before dawn for the pure excitement of finding the best deals on new stuff... and God help those who get in our way. Here are a couple videos of this fun-filled day to get you in the Christmas spirit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O6IMYSSs7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=mnu6yZKo7u8&NR=1 (first 30 sec)
What started out as a day to mark the beginning of the shopping season for Christmas has turned into a day of greed, frenzy and bad behavior. We can partly blame this behavior on stores that advertise an $800 TV on sale for $250, but then only stocks three of them. Companies advertise like this to entice people to choose their store over another store and they only stock a few because it is a terrible business plan. The store loses money on the first few customers, but makes money on the next 2 Gazillion shoppers who are in the shopping mood.
Author's Point #1: Ten years ago a few stores opened up at 5 a.m. to jump start this big day of shopping. Two years ago many stores opened at midnight. This year many stores opened at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Restaurants are also opening at similar hours to accommodate shoppers. Because companies see more opportunity for making a buck, hundreds of thousands of store employees are no longer able to enjoy their Thanksgiving holiday. Do you think any of them are able to request the busiest day of the year off? Is anyone thinking about the workers who have no say in the matter of when the stores open? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwJWe_DMfGc
Author's Point #2: After watching the videos above (and hundreds others like it), I am wondering if this is what Abraham Lincoln had in mind when he declared Thanksgiving a national holiday: people camping out in lines for a week to get a good spot in line, people stampeding in stores like cattle to save a few dollars (a Wal-Mart Employee was killed in 2008 after being trampled by customers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqeY7j5TuuE) and people getting into fist fights over merchandise.
Maybe it's just me, but we might want to turn the clocks back on this one. I think 5 a.m. on Black Friday is early enough. Let's value the traditions of Thanksgiving and the lives of store employees over our need to buy more stuff. After all, Cyber-Monday provides the same deals with no lines. I would like to add that as a last-minute shopper, stores continue sales well into December - no joke!
Your Turn:
1) What is your opinion?
2) It's possible that I am wrong on this. After all, three NFL football games were played on Thanksgiving this year. If football is okay, shouldn't shopping be okay?
3) I wouldn't end tailgating at football games because 5% of the fans get too drunk and act like complete idiots. So, why pick on Black Friday because 5% of these shoppers cause trouble?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O6IMYSSs7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=mnu6yZKo7u8&NR=1 (first 30 sec)
What started out as a day to mark the beginning of the shopping season for Christmas has turned into a day of greed, frenzy and bad behavior. We can partly blame this behavior on stores that advertise an $800 TV on sale for $250, but then only stocks three of them. Companies advertise like this to entice people to choose their store over another store and they only stock a few because it is a terrible business plan. The store loses money on the first few customers, but makes money on the next 2 Gazillion shoppers who are in the shopping mood.
Author's Point #1: Ten years ago a few stores opened up at 5 a.m. to jump start this big day of shopping. Two years ago many stores opened at midnight. This year many stores opened at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Restaurants are also opening at similar hours to accommodate shoppers. Because companies see more opportunity for making a buck, hundreds of thousands of store employees are no longer able to enjoy their Thanksgiving holiday. Do you think any of them are able to request the busiest day of the year off? Is anyone thinking about the workers who have no say in the matter of when the stores open? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwJWe_DMfGc
Author's Point #2: After watching the videos above (and hundreds others like it), I am wondering if this is what Abraham Lincoln had in mind when he declared Thanksgiving a national holiday: people camping out in lines for a week to get a good spot in line, people stampeding in stores like cattle to save a few dollars (a Wal-Mart Employee was killed in 2008 after being trampled by customers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqeY7j5TuuE) and people getting into fist fights over merchandise.
Maybe it's just me, but we might want to turn the clocks back on this one. I think 5 a.m. on Black Friday is early enough. Let's value the traditions of Thanksgiving and the lives of store employees over our need to buy more stuff. After all, Cyber-Monday provides the same deals with no lines. I would like to add that as a last-minute shopper, stores continue sales well into December - no joke!
Your Turn:
1) What is your opinion?
2) It's possible that I am wrong on this. After all, three NFL football games were played on Thanksgiving this year. If football is okay, shouldn't shopping be okay?
3) I wouldn't end tailgating at football games because 5% of the fans get too drunk and act like complete idiots. So, why pick on Black Friday because 5% of these shoppers cause trouble?
Friday, November 9, 2012
Leaders Acting Like Leaders: How Refreshing
For those who don't know, Chris Christie is the Governor of New Jersey. Early in 2012, republicans literally begged Christie to run for President of the United States. He repeatedly refused, saying that he was not ready to be president and he did not want to abandon his state of New Jersey http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W24-CB6nn2k.
He gave the opening keynote address at the Republican Convention and basically slammed President Obama for 30 or so minutes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWICurHafqE. It should be noted that President Obama doesn't have any real affinity for Governor Christie either.
However, a week before the election, Hurricane Sandy hit the Northeast coast of of the United States and devastated Christie's home state of New Jersey http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mZPuTOkmiA.
To their credit, these two individuals put party politics aside and joined forces to provide the people of New Jersey the best possible state and federal resources. It impresses me that two individuals could work together for the greater good and openly praise each other in press conferences www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssl1R7oXpg4. However, there are some that believe Christie's praise of Obama was the final nail in the coffin for the Republican candidate, Mitt Romney http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-7Foalz5Qs&feature=relmfu.
Author's Perspective: I have long believed that the problem with America is the divisiveness of the two party system. When the Democrats try to do something, the Republicans stand in their way, and viceverse. Gridlock. Good 'ol fashion party politics. So, it is refreshing to see two strong leaders combine forces to serve the people. Not only did these two men work together toward a common goal, they acted the ways leaders should act...like..well...leaders.
Your Turn:
1) Two men working toward a common goal might sound easy, but think of the person who you hate the most - perhaps someone who has been your biggest critic and called you names. Could you overcome your feelings and work toward a common goal? Could you praise your enemy in public?
2) Why do you think Republicans and Democrats have such an issue working together for the good of the country?
He gave the opening keynote address at the Republican Convention and basically slammed President Obama for 30 or so minutes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWICurHafqE. It should be noted that President Obama doesn't have any real affinity for Governor Christie either.
However, a week before the election, Hurricane Sandy hit the Northeast coast of of the United States and devastated Christie's home state of New Jersey http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mZPuTOkmiA.
To their credit, these two individuals put party politics aside and joined forces to provide the people of New Jersey the best possible state and federal resources. It impresses me that two individuals could work together for the greater good and openly praise each other in press conferences www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssl1R7oXpg4. However, there are some that believe Christie's praise of Obama was the final nail in the coffin for the Republican candidate, Mitt Romney http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-7Foalz5Qs&feature=relmfu.
Author's Perspective: I have long believed that the problem with America is the divisiveness of the two party system. When the Democrats try to do something, the Republicans stand in their way, and viceverse. Gridlock. Good 'ol fashion party politics. So, it is refreshing to see two strong leaders combine forces to serve the people. Not only did these two men work together toward a common goal, they acted the ways leaders should act...like..well...leaders.
Your Turn:
1) Two men working toward a common goal might sound easy, but think of the person who you hate the most - perhaps someone who has been your biggest critic and called you names. Could you overcome your feelings and work toward a common goal? Could you praise your enemy in public?
2) Why do you think Republicans and Democrats have such an issue working together for the good of the country?
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