On Valentine's Day, Oscar Pistorius allegedly (we just can't officially say it) killed his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. He says that he mistook his girlfriend as a burglar and shot her through the bathroom door. Unfortunately for him, witnesses testified that they heard arguing in the residence before the killing and Steenkamp's autopsy revealed that her skull was fractured by a cricket bat before she was shot (sorry to be so brutal). There might be a few holes in his story.
http://foxnewsinsider.com/2013/02/25/bombshell-report-in-oscar-pistorius-case-autopsy-reveals-reeva-steenkamp-was-beaten-with-a-cricket-bat-before-she-was-shot/
Pistorius, a.k.a the "Blade Runner," is the double-amputee athlete who ran the 400 meters and anchored the mile relay team wearing prosthetic legs for the South African Olympic team. He was an icon, an inspiration and a positive role model for so many. He had the love and admiration of the world. His girlfriend, Steenkamp, was a beautiful model with a tremendous future.
Lesson # 1 - A Crime of Rage: I'm telling you, this is the classic case of a man who couldn't control his temper and became enraged over something that came between him and his girlfriend. This was a crime of passion and rage. Who knows for sure, but one thing led to another and she probably said, "You're crazy, I am outta here." He said, "No one leaves me." She went to leave. He grabbed a bat and...
Lesson #2 - No Take Backs: If he were not lying to keep himself out of prison, he would say how sorry he is and that he would do anything to take it back. Here is the main point that you must learn from this story - some things you can't take back... do over... or change the outcome. Instead of using reason to make a good decision, he let rage influence this irreversible decision...and sorry can't fix it.
Lesson # 3 - Anger Ruined 2 Lives: In a moment of rage, both lives were irreversibly altered. She was killed and he will only see life through bars until the day he dies. And, he could have just made a different decision and walked away... talked it out... left her for another woman. Anything, besides the terrible decision he made.
Lesson # 4 - This Happens Every Day: Make no mistake about it, stories like this happen hundreds of times a day in this crazy world we live in. Lives are changed - no ruined - because someone can't control his/her temper. These cases don't get the news coverage that this high-profile case did, but even as you read this post, life and death decisions are being made.
Lesson #5 - Someday It Will Be Your Choice: It's easy to point a finger at Pistorius, but remember we are all human, capable of making wonderful and terrible decisions in the blink of an eye. We could probably find hundreds of people to say Pistorius is a tremendous individual who is not capable of committing this type of act. 99.99 percent of his life was probably filled with good decisions. It's the .01 that changed everything. There will be moments in your life when you become enraged over something that somebody did to you, and it will probably be a loved-one. I beg you to please keep your composure and make wise decisions at these critical moments. Learn from this case and heed these lessons.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Diversity of Character Movies: A Touchy, Yet Important Topic
I received a phone call from a teacher in Fresno, California last week. The teacher told me that the class was going well and they were about to begin the week on loyalty. She wanted to know if I had a "black" movie recommendation for that week because the movie on the list was, "A Walk to Remember." She told me that she didn't have one white student in her class and that the students get easily bored and roll their eyes when a "white movie" is shown, saying her students just can't relate.
I receive a phone call like this about once a semester. My usual response is to get out the list of recommended character movies that come with the curriculum. With "The Help" replacing "The Majestic" for week 7 last year, I point out that 9 of the 18 movies have minorities as the lead character. This leaves 9 of the 18 movies as "white movies" with mainly white actors. I do this to show the diversity of the movies (list below).
http://www.characterandleadership.com/assets/pdf/products/chapter_dvds.pdf
This usually leads to a pleasant conversation about ethnicity, and diversity. I usually end by saying that I don't have a list of "black" movies for predominantly black schools, "Hispanic" movies for predominantly Hispanic schools or a list of "white" movies for predominantly white schools. This is a national program and I try to pick the best movie that exemplifies that particular trait, regardless of the ethnicity of the actors. I encourage the teacher to find replacement movies if they feel it is appropriate, but we usually close by talking about the importance of students learning from people who don't necessarily look like them or have a shared background.
Author's Perspective: My wife and I have conversations about these phone calls. We understand the importance of diversity and the importance of providing material that students can relate to based on shared experiences. However, with half of the movies being based on the lives of minorities, this doesn't appear to be an issue of diversity. The question, to me, seems to be the ability to learn from and be inspired by people who don't look like you and come from different backgrounds. When I watch Coach Carter or Lean on Me, I don't roll my eyes and say, "I just can't relate to these black or Hispanic kids." To the contrary, I am inspired by their stories!
My wife says this better than I write it. Here are her thoughts - https://vimeo.com/60199614
A Walk to Remember is a story of a troubled boy who is headed down the wrong path. He meets a girl who changes his life for the better. He learns compassion, courage, empathy and develops the capacity to put someone else before himself. It is an inspiring film and I always cry when she dies at the end. I hope you do too - whether your skin is white, brown, black or green. I think that if you give the movies and the actors the benefit of the doubt, you will find the themes and lessons of these movies are universal.
Your Turn:
1) Do you think I should have 3, 4 or 5 lists of movies available for schools based on the ethnic background of their students? Why or why not?
2) If you agree with this philosophy, this means that white students should only watch "white" movies and not watch films with black actors as they will not be able to relate or learn anything, right? What happends to diversity if that happens?
3) If you were the person who selects the movies, what changes would you make?
I receive a phone call like this about once a semester. My usual response is to get out the list of recommended character movies that come with the curriculum. With "The Help" replacing "The Majestic" for week 7 last year, I point out that 9 of the 18 movies have minorities as the lead character. This leaves 9 of the 18 movies as "white movies" with mainly white actors. I do this to show the diversity of the movies (list below).
http://www.characterandleadership.com/assets/pdf/products/chapter_dvds.pdf
This usually leads to a pleasant conversation about ethnicity, and diversity. I usually end by saying that I don't have a list of "black" movies for predominantly black schools, "Hispanic" movies for predominantly Hispanic schools or a list of "white" movies for predominantly white schools. This is a national program and I try to pick the best movie that exemplifies that particular trait, regardless of the ethnicity of the actors. I encourage the teacher to find replacement movies if they feel it is appropriate, but we usually close by talking about the importance of students learning from people who don't necessarily look like them or have a shared background.
Author's Perspective: My wife and I have conversations about these phone calls. We understand the importance of diversity and the importance of providing material that students can relate to based on shared experiences. However, with half of the movies being based on the lives of minorities, this doesn't appear to be an issue of diversity. The question, to me, seems to be the ability to learn from and be inspired by people who don't look like you and come from different backgrounds. When I watch Coach Carter or Lean on Me, I don't roll my eyes and say, "I just can't relate to these black or Hispanic kids." To the contrary, I am inspired by their stories!
My wife says this better than I write it. Here are her thoughts - https://vimeo.com/60199614
A Walk to Remember is a story of a troubled boy who is headed down the wrong path. He meets a girl who changes his life for the better. He learns compassion, courage, empathy and develops the capacity to put someone else before himself. It is an inspiring film and I always cry when she dies at the end. I hope you do too - whether your skin is white, brown, black or green. I think that if you give the movies and the actors the benefit of the doubt, you will find the themes and lessons of these movies are universal.
Your Turn:
1) Do you think I should have 3, 4 or 5 lists of movies available for schools based on the ethnic background of their students? Why or why not?
2) If you agree with this philosophy, this means that white students should only watch "white" movies and not watch films with black actors as they will not be able to relate or learn anything, right? What happends to diversity if that happens?
3) If you were the person who selects the movies, what changes would you make?
Monday, February 11, 2013
Why Do Meteorologists Over-Hype The Weather?
I grew up in Michigan where snow storms and blizzards came with the territory. The meteorologist would take the last 3 minutes of the local news to give his/her best guess about the impending weather. Adults would watch and go about their business. Children would turn on the radio each morning to pray that their school would be canceled so they could all go outside and have some real fun in the snow. Those were some of my best memories growing up.
In the year 2000, my wife and I moved to North Carolina, and our running joke was the absolute fear that the meteorologists would put in people if the slightest hint of snow was forecasted. Weather wasn't just reserved for meteorologists - it was the lead story. Apparently people needed to be reminded to stock up on food and water... grown adults needed constant reminders about how to drive in the snow... how to dress for the cold. Schools would be cancelled the night before a storm based on the possibility of snow. Newscasters practically begged people to stay off the roads and to watch out for the ever-present and dangerous "black ice." We just couldn't understand what the big deal was about. It's snow - slow down, pump your breaks and don't use your cruise control. Besides, if you wait 24 hours, it will surely melt.
I understood that most Carolinans only saw snow once or twice a year. The city/state did not have the equipment to deal with snow and people were not all that used to driving in the snow. I get it. I make fun of it, but I get it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt_IP93B2QE (this is a good example)
In 2006 we moved back to Michigan. Ahh, the normalcy of weekly snow storms. Except...it felt like the meteorologists and newscasters had taken bad acting classes from their friends in the south. A snow storm was no longer just a snow storm, it was an opportunity to scare the crap out of people. The lessons on driving, hypothermia, layering, emergency kits and pet care became the norm. They interviewed police and got the latest from government workers. The meteorologists began taking 5 minutes to tease you about the forecast and another 8 minutes to deliver the forecast. They have Super-Doppler's and other make-believe gadgets to make worse predictions than the next channel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktSMZVrrVd4 (I think all meteorologists sound like this now)
Author's Perspective: Yes, I am having fun with this. Still, I must ask the question, why do local stations feel the need to hype a storm that produces 5 inches of snow for 5 days? Do local stations see snow fall as a way to get ratings? Does the local news feel the public is so dumb or incapable of taking care of themselves that they feel this need to re-educate the public every time the snow falls? As a society, did we collectively lose our common sense? Do we all need to be taken care of? Isn't this the role of moms and dads to give these speeches and deliver these life-lessons?
To me it all seems ridiculous. I don't need meteorologists to editorialize and over-hype. Just tell me what the weather was today and give me your best guess about the next 24-48 hours. I will then do my part - use good-judgment and common sense about the realities of the weather.
Your Turn:
1) I understand that most of you are young, but do you understand what I am talking about? Adults, can you see this difference in the forecast? Am I over-reacting?
2) If you agree that there is a change in the way that the weather is delivered, why do you think it has changed? Do we, as a society, need to be taken care of us like this?
In the year 2000, my wife and I moved to North Carolina, and our running joke was the absolute fear that the meteorologists would put in people if the slightest hint of snow was forecasted. Weather wasn't just reserved for meteorologists - it was the lead story. Apparently people needed to be reminded to stock up on food and water... grown adults needed constant reminders about how to drive in the snow... how to dress for the cold. Schools would be cancelled the night before a storm based on the possibility of snow. Newscasters practically begged people to stay off the roads and to watch out for the ever-present and dangerous "black ice." We just couldn't understand what the big deal was about. It's snow - slow down, pump your breaks and don't use your cruise control. Besides, if you wait 24 hours, it will surely melt.
I understood that most Carolinans only saw snow once or twice a year. The city/state did not have the equipment to deal with snow and people were not all that used to driving in the snow. I get it. I make fun of it, but I get it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt_IP93B2QE (this is a good example)
In 2006 we moved back to Michigan. Ahh, the normalcy of weekly snow storms. Except...it felt like the meteorologists and newscasters had taken bad acting classes from their friends in the south. A snow storm was no longer just a snow storm, it was an opportunity to scare the crap out of people. The lessons on driving, hypothermia, layering, emergency kits and pet care became the norm. They interviewed police and got the latest from government workers. The meteorologists began taking 5 minutes to tease you about the forecast and another 8 minutes to deliver the forecast. They have Super-Doppler's and other make-believe gadgets to make worse predictions than the next channel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktSMZVrrVd4 (I think all meteorologists sound like this now)
Author's Perspective: Yes, I am having fun with this. Still, I must ask the question, why do local stations feel the need to hype a storm that produces 5 inches of snow for 5 days? Do local stations see snow fall as a way to get ratings? Does the local news feel the public is so dumb or incapable of taking care of themselves that they feel this need to re-educate the public every time the snow falls? As a society, did we collectively lose our common sense? Do we all need to be taken care of? Isn't this the role of moms and dads to give these speeches and deliver these life-lessons?
To me it all seems ridiculous. I don't need meteorologists to editorialize and over-hype. Just tell me what the weather was today and give me your best guess about the next 24-48 hours. I will then do my part - use good-judgment and common sense about the realities of the weather.
Your Turn:
1) I understand that most of you are young, but do you understand what I am talking about? Adults, can you see this difference in the forecast? Am I over-reacting?
2) If you agree that there is a change in the way that the weather is delivered, why do you think it has changed? Do we, as a society, need to be taken care of us like this?
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
The Lessons of Reality TV
Several years ago a study was conducted on the top 100 sitcoms (half hour comedy TV shows) of all time. As a class you can name many of them without looking at the list below. The researcher found something very interesting when he divided the list between "prior to Cheers" (1982) and those that came after 1982. All of the shows that came before Cheers had one thing in common. Can you guess what it was? Each episode ended with a "moral of the story" or a "life-lesson to be learned." In fact, the writers often started with the lesson and then crafted the episode to teach that lesson. Most of the the sitcoms that came after Cheers were not centered around a life-lesson, rather most were just comedy for comedy-sake.
http://www.listal.com/list/100-greatest-sitcoms-alltime
Author's Perspective: I am the first to acknowledge that Seinfeld, Friends and Will & Grace cracked me up. I laughed right along with everyone else. However, the lessons my mom learned from watching I love Lucy, Sanford & Son and Andy Griffith, and the lessons I learned from watching Happy Days, Family Ties and The Cosby Show are very different from the lessons you are learning from The Simpsons, The Office and Two and a Half Men. It's just a fact.
Now, let's throw in reality TV. What lessons do you think are the lessons taught by most reality TV shows? Are Snooky and Honey-Boo-Boo teaching kids about humility and personal responsibility? Are the "Real Housewives of Hollywood" teaching young girls how to be respectful and to have composure? Is The Bachelor" teaching the next generation about the realities of love and relationships? There are exceptions (Undercover Boss, Extreme Home Makeover & The Biggest Loser), but most of the lessons being taught on reality TV run contrary to the traits taught in this class and valued by most of American society. What do you think would have been the life lessons taught by "My Baby's Daddy," that was cancelled due to public protest?
Now, before you tell me that reality TV doesn't negatively impact you, here are a couple of findings from a 2010 research study conducted by the Girl Scouts of American that included 1,100 11-17 year old girls divided between those who "regularly" watch reality TV and those who "infrequently" watch reality TV.
Almost all the girls (86%) in the study believe that reality shows promote bad behavior. However, girls who regularly watched reality TV differed from girls who infrequently watched on a number of variables. Reality TV watchers compared to non-reality TV watchers:
I believe that the lessons learned from TV by the average teenager today is very different from the lessons learned by the average teenager 10 years ago, 30 years ago and 50 years ago. How much impact does that have on beliefs, attitudes and behavior? There is no perfect way to measure that impact because so many variables combine to form our own world views. However, we all must acknowledge that it changes our reality and to some degree, changes society.
Your Turn:
1) Do you watch reality TV? What shows? Pick a show and write down the main lessons this show teaches?
2) On a scale of 1-10, how much do you think reality TV affects you? Explain your answer.
3) Would you feel comfortable allowing a 10 year old to watch reality TV shows? Which ones would you recommend and which ones would you eliminate?
http://www.listal.com/list/100-greatest-sitcoms-alltime
Author's Perspective: I am the first to acknowledge that Seinfeld, Friends and Will & Grace cracked me up. I laughed right along with everyone else. However, the lessons my mom learned from watching I love Lucy, Sanford & Son and Andy Griffith, and the lessons I learned from watching Happy Days, Family Ties and The Cosby Show are very different from the lessons you are learning from The Simpsons, The Office and Two and a Half Men. It's just a fact.
Now, let's throw in reality TV. What lessons do you think are the lessons taught by most reality TV shows? Are Snooky and Honey-Boo-Boo teaching kids about humility and personal responsibility? Are the "Real Housewives of Hollywood" teaching young girls how to be respectful and to have composure? Is The Bachelor" teaching the next generation about the realities of love and relationships? There are exceptions (Undercover Boss, Extreme Home Makeover & The Biggest Loser), but most of the lessons being taught on reality TV run contrary to the traits taught in this class and valued by most of American society. What do you think would have been the life lessons taught by "My Baby's Daddy," that was cancelled due to public protest?
Now, before you tell me that reality TV doesn't negatively impact you, here are a couple of findings from a 2010 research study conducted by the Girl Scouts of American that included 1,100 11-17 year old girls divided between those who "regularly" watch reality TV and those who "infrequently" watch reality TV.
Almost all the girls (86%) in the study believe that reality shows promote bad behavior. However, girls who regularly watched reality TV differed from girls who infrequently watched on a number of variables. Reality TV watchers compared to non-reality TV watchers:
- Thought gossiping was a normal part of a relationship between girls (78% vs. 54%)
- Thought it's in a girls nature to be catty with each other (68% vs. 50%)
- Are happier when they are dating someone (49% vs. 28%)
- Spent a lot of time on their appearance (72% vs. 42%)
- Believe you have to lie to get what you want (37% vs. 24%)
I believe that the lessons learned from TV by the average teenager today is very different from the lessons learned by the average teenager 10 years ago, 30 years ago and 50 years ago. How much impact does that have on beliefs, attitudes and behavior? There is no perfect way to measure that impact because so many variables combine to form our own world views. However, we all must acknowledge that it changes our reality and to some degree, changes society.
Your Turn:
1) Do you watch reality TV? What shows? Pick a show and write down the main lessons this show teaches?
2) On a scale of 1-10, how much do you think reality TV affects you? Explain your answer.
3) Would you feel comfortable allowing a 10 year old to watch reality TV shows? Which ones would you recommend and which ones would you eliminate?
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