When Whitney found out she was nominated for homecoming queen, she was surprised... giddy... elated. When she logged on to Facebook later that day, she discovered that her nomination was a joke and she felt humiliated... devastated... suicidal.
It's difficult to believe that this story could occur, particularly in a small town within my home state of Michigan. It stands to reason that many students thought it would be funny to vote for Whitney just so they could make fun of her. Many students had to think this was a good idea. They must have seen this as no big deal. Not one of these students put a stop to it, told the administration what was going on or cared that this was just plain mean. Shame on them!
To her credit, Whitney decided to show up... to show up those bullies who thought her nomination was a joke... to show up on homecoming night and represent her sophomore class with pride. Instead of letting the situation define her, Whitney defined the situation. Good for her!
To the town's credit, the community decided to take a stand... to stand up for Whitney... to stand against bullying... to stand against being mean. A dress shop donated her dress, a florist donated flowers and a salon did her hair and nails for the big event. Good for them!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzlqBh9Jyh0&feature=related (local story - 2 minutes)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8PAf472QnM&feature=related (CNN - 2 minutes)
Your Turn
1) Why do you think someone would initially think this is a good idea?
2) Why did so many students go along with this idea? Why wouldn't someone just tell a teacher or the principal what was going on?
3) If you were the administration, what would you do in this situation?
4) How do you think Whitney, the school and town will be changed by this incident?
5) This became a national story covered by most of the cable news networks? Why? What do you think the moral of the story is?
Monday, October 15, 2012
A Heart-Warming Story
At a major league baseball game this summer, two young fans tried to catch a baseball that was thrown into the stands by a player. Of course, one caught it and one didn't. The boy who caught the ball, Ian, celebrated and ran back to his seat. However, when he turned around, he saw the other boy crying. Without any prompting, he decided to give the ball to this boy.
The announcers saw all of this unfold and commented on this random act of kindness. They were so impressed by Ian's generosity that they decided to reward his selflessness. Ian received an autographed bat, was introduced to members of the team and threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the next night's game. They were highly praised for doing the right thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfF1m3-Dl_Q
Author's Perspective (Positive): When interviewed about the incident, Ian said, "My mom and dad taught me that way...so it just came natural." One announcer said, "That's good home training," while the other one commented, "That's a very well-bred young man." It reminded me of the enormous impact that parents and teachers have on the morality and the actions of young people. I hope all parents spend time teaching such values and virtues to their children.
Author's Perspective (Negative): The announcers commented, "I can't believe I just witnessed that... You, young man, are a star!" I might just be in a cynical mood, but is our world that void of character that we need to make such a fuss? Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a noble gesture and I also like to point out when people do the right thing. The announcers seem to be implying that they have never seen a fan do something so kind and/or they would not expect others in the same situation to do the same thing. ABC News thought it was such a shift from the norm that they decided to make Ian their national person of the week. My reaction to that is, "Really?" Has our society dipped that low? Are "we" really that mean? Uncaring? Selfish? Is Ian one in a thousand kids, one a a hundred or is he pretty typical of what "you" would have done? I prefer to think the latter.
Your Turn:
1) Is Ian unique or is he pretty typical? Why or why not?
2) It's very easy to say what you would have done and to give yourself credit, but think of something that you really care about (like an autograph from your favorite celebrity) and ask yourself if you would have done the same thing? Take a poll in your class.
3) How much an impact do you think a parent has on a child's morality and behavior? What about teachers? Other adults? Friends? Who has influenced you the most?
The announcers saw all of this unfold and commented on this random act of kindness. They were so impressed by Ian's generosity that they decided to reward his selflessness. Ian received an autographed bat, was introduced to members of the team and threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the next night's game. They were highly praised for doing the right thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfF1m3-Dl_Q
Author's Perspective (Positive): When interviewed about the incident, Ian said, "My mom and dad taught me that way...so it just came natural." One announcer said, "That's good home training," while the other one commented, "That's a very well-bred young man." It reminded me of the enormous impact that parents and teachers have on the morality and the actions of young people. I hope all parents spend time teaching such values and virtues to their children.
Author's Perspective (Negative): The announcers commented, "I can't believe I just witnessed that... You, young man, are a star!" I might just be in a cynical mood, but is our world that void of character that we need to make such a fuss? Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a noble gesture and I also like to point out when people do the right thing. The announcers seem to be implying that they have never seen a fan do something so kind and/or they would not expect others in the same situation to do the same thing. ABC News thought it was such a shift from the norm that they decided to make Ian their national person of the week. My reaction to that is, "Really?" Has our society dipped that low? Are "we" really that mean? Uncaring? Selfish? Is Ian one in a thousand kids, one a a hundred or is he pretty typical of what "you" would have done? I prefer to think the latter.
Your Turn:
1) Is Ian unique or is he pretty typical? Why or why not?
2) It's very easy to say what you would have done and to give yourself credit, but think of something that you really care about (like an autograph from your favorite celebrity) and ask yourself if you would have done the same thing? Take a poll in your class.
3) How much an impact do you think a parent has on a child's morality and behavior? What about teachers? Other adults? Friends? Who has influenced you the most?
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Say It Isn't So...Lance
Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Marian Jones, Roger Clemens, Ben Johnson...let me tell you, the list of professional athletes who used performance enhancing drugs could go on and on and on. Well, the list grew by one very prominent athlete last week. Lance Armstrong, cancer survivor and 7 time Tour de France winner most likely cheated his way to those victories.
While the evidence is not conclusive and it was not proven in a court of law, several of his former teammates came forward to corroborate Armstrong's drug use. These teammates saw him inject himself and they claim that cheating was a part of the team culture. The United States Anti-Doping Agency is probably going to strip Armstrong of his 7 titles and ban him from the sport for life.
Armstrong's response to the latest charges - no contest. "I'm finished with this nonsense," he said. "There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough'. For me, that time is now." To be fair, Armstrong has consistently stated his innocence to numerous doping allegations over the years. He has been tested for drugs hundreds of times and he never tested positive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGOhX6ymj38&feature=related (case against Armstrong)
http://www.lancearmstrong.com/foundation\ (Armstrong response)
Author's Perspective: For me, it's another role model who has failed us...another individual who lowered the bar for our youth...another person who sacrificed their integrity to merely win...another cheater. I can't tell you how close I was to putting Lance Armstrong in my role model book for perseverance. He was a cherished role model of mine- the key word is "was."
Your Turn
1) After watching these videos, do you think Armstrong is guilty or is this a witch hunt on an innocent man?
2) On a scale of 1-10, how big of a deal is this case?
3) We tell the next generation not to cheat in school or lie to get ahead...we stress character and integrity... but I wonder if cases like this lowers the bar and/or make you more cynical.
While the evidence is not conclusive and it was not proven in a court of law, several of his former teammates came forward to corroborate Armstrong's drug use. These teammates saw him inject himself and they claim that cheating was a part of the team culture. The United States Anti-Doping Agency is probably going to strip Armstrong of his 7 titles and ban him from the sport for life.
Armstrong's response to the latest charges - no contest. "I'm finished with this nonsense," he said. "There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough'. For me, that time is now." To be fair, Armstrong has consistently stated his innocence to numerous doping allegations over the years. He has been tested for drugs hundreds of times and he never tested positive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGOhX6ymj38&feature=related (case against Armstrong)
http://www.lancearmstrong.com/foundation\ (Armstrong response)
Author's Perspective: For me, it's another role model who has failed us...another individual who lowered the bar for our youth...another person who sacrificed their integrity to merely win...another cheater. I can't tell you how close I was to putting Lance Armstrong in my role model book for perseverance. He was a cherished role model of mine- the key word is "was."
Your Turn
1) After watching these videos, do you think Armstrong is guilty or is this a witch hunt on an innocent man?
2) On a scale of 1-10, how big of a deal is this case?
3) We tell the next generation not to cheat in school or lie to get ahead...we stress character and integrity... but I wonder if cases like this lowers the bar and/or make you more cynical.
Live Life to the Fullest
I was looking through my photos on my cell phone from the past year and I couldn't believe how blessed I am to lead such a full life. I can't believe all the places I've been and all of the experiences I've had. I am always telling students to live their lives with passion, to not sit on the sidelines of life as others play the game, so I am pleased that I have taken my own advice.
I know what many of you are thinking. "Easy for you to say, you travel with your job" or "I don't have enough gas money to get to 7-11, how am I supposed to do such things." These are good points. Truth is, I never made it out of Michigan until I was 17 years old.
I would argue that you don't have to travel the globe in order to live your life with passion. Sure, it looks prettier in pictures, but consider this point. Many thousands of years ago, it was alleged that in order to get into Egyptian Heaven, you were asked two questions upon your death. 1) Did you find joy in your life? 2) Did you provide others joy? Your answers determined whether or not you made it into heaven.
Can it really be that simple - to find joy and provide others joy in this lifetime? It's not that bad of a life philosophy, if you ask me.
Your turn
1) Have you found joy in your life? 2) Do you provide others joy? Can you provide examples?
3) Are you sitting on the sidelines of life or are you out there playing this game of life?
4) If I asked you to display pictures of your life over the last year, what would your life look like?
I know what many of you are thinking. "Easy for you to say, you travel with your job" or "I don't have enough gas money to get to 7-11, how am I supposed to do such things." These are good points. Truth is, I never made it out of Michigan until I was 17 years old.
I would argue that you don't have to travel the globe in order to live your life with passion. Sure, it looks prettier in pictures, but consider this point. Many thousands of years ago, it was alleged that in order to get into Egyptian Heaven, you were asked two questions upon your death. 1) Did you find joy in your life? 2) Did you provide others joy? Your answers determined whether or not you made it into heaven.
Can it really be that simple - to find joy and provide others joy in this lifetime? It's not that bad of a life philosophy, if you ask me.
Your turn
1) Have you found joy in your life? 2) Do you provide others joy? Can you provide examples?
3) Are you sitting on the sidelines of life or are you out there playing this game of life?
4) If I asked you to display pictures of your life over the last year, what would your life look like?
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Lazy Teens or Grumpy Old Man?
I know what you are thinking. This is another example of someone from the older generation saying, "These kids today just aren't responsible, respectful, resourceful..." This may be true, but I had two recent experiences that gave credence to this gentleman's opinion. 1) I had a 17- year- old stay with us for a week this summer with his family. I asked him what he did for fun this summer and he said, "Watch TV, play video games and chat with people on facebook." I noted that all of this is done in his house and he said, "Well, there isn't much to do in Winston-Salem, North Carolina." Hmmm.
2) Last week I was speaking to about 50 students at Northwest High School in Cincinnati, Ohio (shout out to those awesome students for making it such a life-changing experience). I sat next to a sophomore and a junior at lunch. One said to the other, "By the time August came around, I was so bored that I was looking forward to coming back to school." The other student responded, "I know. I can only watch so much TV in a given day." Wow!
Your Turn
Do you think that this generation is more bored than previous generations? Why or why not?
What did you do for fun this summer? Were you bored? Were you active?
Does social media actually help teenagers do more activities together?
Do you feel that it is the role of the community, government or your parents to provide "things" for you to do? Or is it your responsibility to find things to do?
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Penn State Needed A Hero
Yes, I read all 161 pages of the Freeh Report on the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse case at Penn State University. I read this report because everyone seems to have a comment and an opinion on this case, but very few people have read the report. It is important to have educated opinions, particularly before making public comments in this type of forum. If you are interested, you too, can read the report below.
http://www.thefreehreportonpsu.com/REPORT_FINAL_071212.pdf
One of the facts that I learned from the Freeh Report is that two people were eye-witnesses to the sexual abuse. One was a janitor and the other was an assistant football coach. The other fact is that at least 16 people were informed of this abuse (not all were Penn State officials), including police officers.
My overwhelming thought is that any of these individuals could have spoken up, demanded answers, held a news conference... If any had, he/she would have been heralded as a hero! It is important to note that a person doesn't need to be in a leadership position to act responsibly and follow through. Why do we hold the assistant football coach accountable and let the janitor off easy. Is one more or less accountable for the welfare of children? We blame the president of the university and the head football coach for not doing enough, but do we have the same standards for the mom who suspected her son was abused?
My point is that we all need to act as leaders, regardless of whether or not we are in a leadership position. Had anyone of those 18 individuals demanded answers and followed through, they would have been called heroes. They would have been put on magazine covers and probably received "person of the year" honors from multiple sources. No one did, and we are left wondering why.
Let this be a lesson to you: if you encounter wrong-doing, don't look the other way. Take action, do something about it, report it to the authorities. I understand that "no snitchin" is the unwritten code among teenagers, but the Penn State case should make us all question this code. It's no longer okay to say, "That's not my job." It's no longer acceptable to look the other way and hope that someone else will take care of the problem. The world needs more "leaders" who do the right thing and a few more heroes.
Your Turn
What will you do if you witness a student bullying another student?
What will you do if you witness a student cheating on a test?
What will you do if you hear a rumor that someone brought a weapon into school?
What will you do if you witness or hear about a principal/teacher who is doing something unethical?
http://www.thefreehreportonpsu.com/REPORT_FINAL_071212.pdf
One of the facts that I learned from the Freeh Report is that two people were eye-witnesses to the sexual abuse. One was a janitor and the other was an assistant football coach. The other fact is that at least 16 people were informed of this abuse (not all were Penn State officials), including police officers.
My overwhelming thought is that any of these individuals could have spoken up, demanded answers, held a news conference... If any had, he/she would have been heralded as a hero! It is important to note that a person doesn't need to be in a leadership position to act responsibly and follow through. Why do we hold the assistant football coach accountable and let the janitor off easy. Is one more or less accountable for the welfare of children? We blame the president of the university and the head football coach for not doing enough, but do we have the same standards for the mom who suspected her son was abused?
My point is that we all need to act as leaders, regardless of whether or not we are in a leadership position. Had anyone of those 18 individuals demanded answers and followed through, they would have been called heroes. They would have been put on magazine covers and probably received "person of the year" honors from multiple sources. No one did, and we are left wondering why.
Let this be a lesson to you: if you encounter wrong-doing, don't look the other way. Take action, do something about it, report it to the authorities. I understand that "no snitchin" is the unwritten code among teenagers, but the Penn State case should make us all question this code. It's no longer okay to say, "That's not my job." It's no longer acceptable to look the other way and hope that someone else will take care of the problem. The world needs more "leaders" who do the right thing and a few more heroes.
Your Turn
What will you do if you witness a student bullying another student?
What will you do if you witness a student cheating on a test?
What will you do if you hear a rumor that someone brought a weapon into school?
What will you do if you witness or hear about a principal/teacher who is doing something unethical?
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Poor Sportsmanship or Great Effort?
I was searching the Internet for examples of poor sportsmanship and I found this video of a girl's high school basketball team (Christian Heritage) beating their opponent (West Point Academy) by a score of 108-3. I watched the news report and I thought it was a great debate - was this poor sportsmanship or merely a case of one team playing to their maximum capabilities to annihilate an inferior team? Watch it first for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml3hLM3pI00
A little aside: The most difficult part of this experience for me was reading the comments below the video. People expressed their opinions in such a rude, mean and aggressive manner. I thought this was a great story that should inspire debate as good points were made on each side. I hope that people make respectful comments on this website and others.
Point: The principal from the winning school felt his team should not embarrass another team in such a manner. He seemed to express that it was rude to beat another team by so many points. Exercise restraint, good-judgement, empathy - this was his main point.
Counter Point: The coach of the winning school said that he wants his players to compete to their highest ability regardless of the ability. He thinks it's dishonest and awkward to tell his players not to play hard for the entire game. He thinks that not playing "straight up" would be a greater insult to the opponent than beating them by 100 points.
Author's Perspective: High school athletics teaches competition, effort and teamwork. It teaches the hard lessons of losing and it teaches us how to push ourselves to get better for the next game. I also believe that high school athletics teaches us respect for the other team, sportsmanship and how to handle such moments with class and dignity. Coaches are teachers and should promote such values. If I were the coach, I would have said, "We are up by 50 points. There is no reason to pad your stats or embarrass this team any further." I would have put in the 3rd string. I would have called off the full-court press. I would have told my players to make 4 passes before taking a shot. There is a reason that most states use a running clock when one team is up by 25 or more points in basketball or exercise the mercy rule in baseball when a team is up by 10 runs. In the end, it is still about character, integrity and doing the right thing. I believe the coach did the wrong thing.
Your turn:
What would you have done if you were the coach of a team that was up by 50 points at halftime?
What lessons would you want each team to learn from this experience?
How do you think the parents of the winning team and losing team feel?
If you agree with me, would you tell an athlete in an individual sport like track, wrestling or swimming to take it easy on the next race or opponent? (BTW - I would not).
If you disagree with me, how do you teach sportsmanship, respect, compassion and other essential character traits?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml3hLM3pI00
A little aside: The most difficult part of this experience for me was reading the comments below the video. People expressed their opinions in such a rude, mean and aggressive manner. I thought this was a great story that should inspire debate as good points were made on each side. I hope that people make respectful comments on this website and others.
Point: The principal from the winning school felt his team should not embarrass another team in such a manner. He seemed to express that it was rude to beat another team by so many points. Exercise restraint, good-judgement, empathy - this was his main point.
Counter Point: The coach of the winning school said that he wants his players to compete to their highest ability regardless of the ability. He thinks it's dishonest and awkward to tell his players not to play hard for the entire game. He thinks that not playing "straight up" would be a greater insult to the opponent than beating them by 100 points.
Author's Perspective: High school athletics teaches competition, effort and teamwork. It teaches the hard lessons of losing and it teaches us how to push ourselves to get better for the next game. I also believe that high school athletics teaches us respect for the other team, sportsmanship and how to handle such moments with class and dignity. Coaches are teachers and should promote such values. If I were the coach, I would have said, "We are up by 50 points. There is no reason to pad your stats or embarrass this team any further." I would have put in the 3rd string. I would have called off the full-court press. I would have told my players to make 4 passes before taking a shot. There is a reason that most states use a running clock when one team is up by 25 or more points in basketball or exercise the mercy rule in baseball when a team is up by 10 runs. In the end, it is still about character, integrity and doing the right thing. I believe the coach did the wrong thing.
Your turn:
What would you have done if you were the coach of a team that was up by 50 points at halftime?
What lessons would you want each team to learn from this experience?
How do you think the parents of the winning team and losing team feel?
If you agree with me, would you tell an athlete in an individual sport like track, wrestling or swimming to take it easy on the next race or opponent? (BTW - I would not).
If you disagree with me, how do you teach sportsmanship, respect, compassion and other essential character traits?
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