Atheists Not Allowed To Volunteer at Soup Kitchen

Each year around Thanksgiving I get to thinking that my family and I should volunteer to serve food to the homeless at a local shelter or soup kitchen in town. This would be a good deed that would help others and it would remind us how fortunate we are to have a nice home, family and food on the table. Every year, however, I don't do it, probably because I selfishly would rather spend Thanksgiving with family in a warm house with lots of turkey.

With this in mind, I was flabbergasted by a recent story that surfaced out of Spartanburg, South Carolina. At a local soup kitchen, volunteers were turned away from helping the poor and the homeless.  The reason, you ask?  The volunteers were atheists (do not believe in God). In an interview with the local paper, Lou Landrum, executive soup kitchen director, said that she would resign before allowing atheists to volunteer in her kitchen. She was quoted as saying, "Why are they targeting us?" Yes, why are you trying to help at a soup kitchen, atheists? Go make whatever soup they serve in Hell and leave the hungry alone!"

http://now.msn.com/atheist-volunteers-barred-from-helpingat-spartanburg-soup-kitchen/

This reaction seemed a bit extreme so I dug into the story further. Were the atheists pushing an agenda? Handing out anti-God leaflets? Nope. Eve Brannon, president of Upstate Atheists, was quoted as saying they had no hidden agendas and no one would wear any anti-God clothing or give out any leaflets. "They just wanted to help," she said. 

And help they did. After being rejected by the soup kitchen, they set up shop right across the street. After raising $2,000, they gave away care packages with essential necessities in them. A win-win - the homeless ate a decent meal and then picked up a bag full of goodies across the street.

Author's Perspective: I would like to do a pro and con on this story, but I just can't see the other side.

Point #1: If people want to volunteer, it shouldn't matter their ethnicity, political beliefs, gender or religious/non-religious affiliation. I think you should ask the homeless and the hungry if these things matter to them.  If it does, I will change my opinion. Until then, volunteer organizations shouldn't turn away well-intentioned people based on such categories. 

Point #2: It seems that the behavior of the decision makers at the Christian-based soup kitchen doesn't seem very Christ-like. I find it difficult to believe that the man who preached love, understanding and forgiveness would approve of the actions and words of Lou Landrum, director of the soup kitchen.

Point #3: Going back to how I began this blog entry, I don't think that you or I should have to pass a litmus test in order to volunteer or give back to my community. It just seems un-American and mean.

 Your Turn (1) respond via this blog, (2) comment on Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to @CDandLeadership using #CDandL):
1) Social Media Question: Do you think the soup kitchen has the legal and moral right to refuse volunteers based on religious affiliation or any other category?  Why or why not.
2) Happy Thanksgiving to you. I hope you spend your day with family, friends and good food. What are your plans?  

Amazing Act of Kindness

Have you ever been eating in a restaurant and looked over to see a family with loud, out of control kids? How about getting on an airplane and realizing your seat assignment is next to a single parent with young children? I have been in both situations and the first thing that comes to mind is “Why me?”. That was before I heard a story of a complete stranger who performed a random act of kindness towards a single mom with challenging kids of her own. The man who identified himself only as “Jake” paid for the family’s meal and left a gift card to Pizza Hut along with a three-page letter explaining why he did what he did.

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/national_world&id=9306469

I have heard of many different random acts of kindness before but this story is unique in that the person left a note encouraging the mother’s efforts as she raises her children. The gentleman was totally empathetic towards the struggles that the woman was encountering during dinner. He praised her for her patience in correcting and encouraging the appropriate behaviors of her children.

Author’s perspective#1 Not judging others – Many times we come upon a situation and judge what we see without knowing all the circumstances. The old saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” absolutely applies in this situation. Jake understood what the mother was going through because he has three kids of his own. He took the time to study how the situation was being handled by the mom and admired it.

Author’s perspective#2 Encouraging others – Jake could have simply paid the tab and said nothing afterwards. The fact that he paid and left the gift card would have been more than enough.  But Jake left a three-page letter written to encourage the mom who was obviously having struggles with her children.

Author’s perspective#3 Being Thankful – The woman was totally shocked by Jake’s generosity. She simply wanted to let others know that there are still good people in the world  who do kind things for complete strangers. She took a big risk speaking out because she is a victim of domestic violence. She felt compelled to tell her story and let Jake know just how much she appreciated the random act of kindness.

Your turn (1) respond via this blog (2) comment on our Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to  CDandLeadership using #CDandL:

1) Social Media Question: What are your thoughts about this act of kindness from a complete stranger?

2) What random acts of kindness have you performed?

3) Does this change how you will view people going through difficult situations in a public setting? Why or Why not?

Yes You Can

This is the motto of Team Hoyt, a father and son team that competes in triathlons, marathons, and many other types of races. You're probably asking yourself, "Why is that such a big deal? Surely there are hundreds of other father and son teams that compete in races." Did I fail to mention that the son Rick is a spastic quadriplegic who has been confined to a wheelchair his whole life?  That means that during a triathlon his father Dick has to pull him in a boat for the 2.4 mile swim, pedal him on a bike for the 112 mile bike ride, and push him for the 26.2 mile marathon.  Rick once told his father that when they're racing he feels like he doesn't have a disability.  Because most parents want more for their children than they want for themselves, knowing how racing makes Rick feel is all the motivation Dick needs to put his son's happiness ahead of the grueling physical torture he must endure during races. That is what separates Team Hoyt from all the other father and son teams that compete in races.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM

As of April 2012, Team Hoyt has competed in 1077 races, including:

247      Triathlons (6 Ironman distances, 7 Half Ironman)

22        Duathlons

70        Marathons (30 Boston Marathons)

81        8.6 Milers

94        Half Marathons

1          20K

37        10 Milers

33        Falmouth 7.1 Milers (1 Falmouth in the Fall)

8          15K's

216      10K's

157      5 Milers

4          8K's

18        4 Milers

150      5K's

8          20 Milers

2          11K's

1          7K

1          20 Mile Bike for Best Buddies

Author’s perspective #1 – Making Choices. The Hoyt’s are a great example of overcoming the worst news possible and turning it into something positive. When Dick found out that his son was a quadriplegic, he could have listened to the doctors and accepted that his son was not going to have a normal life. Instead he and his wife made a choice to give their son as normal a life as possible.

Author’s perspective #2 – Putting others first. Dick Hoyt exemplifies the word sacrifice. The ability to put someone else's wants or needs ahead of our own is not a common thing in today’s society.  Dick's sacrifice is not made for personal gain. It is made to make someone else’s life better.  We could all learn something from Dick Hoyt.

Author’s perspective #3 – What do you have to lose? What if each person incorporated this unselfish attitude in their everyday life?  A simple kind gesture to make someone else feel good can go a long way. You do not have jeopardize your character in the process. It will only make you a better person in the long run.

Your turn (1) respond via this blog (2) comment on Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to @CDandLeadership using #CDandL:

1)  Social Media Question: If you have kids one day, do you think you will be able to make the sacrifice that Dick Hoyt chooses to make?

2) What are some examples of sacrifice that you have made in your life to make someone else’s life better?

3) Are you willing to perform one unselfish act a day to make someone’s life better? If you are, tell us about it using social media sites.

Wal-Mart Fires Employee for Rescuing Customer?

Wal-Mart fired one of their workers, Kristopher Oswald, for attempting to rescue a woman who was being assaulted in the parking lot. While on his lunch break, Oswald went to help this woman and two other men jumped him from behind. According to Wal-Mart, Oswald went against the company’s policy by helping this woman, instead of calling the police. Wal-Mart’s spokeswoman, Ashley Hardie, made a statement saying that, "We had to make a tough decision, one that we don't take lightly, and he's no longer with the company."

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaoiFzO76tk

Author’s Perspective #1 - Humanity over Policy: Wal-Mart’s policy is written to keep employees from getting involved in physical altercations, specifically other employees or possible shoplifters. Trying to stick with their policy is understandable, but common sense should over-rule written policy, particularly in emergency situations. Oswald stumbled upon a woman being assaulted in the parking lot and he felt like he was doing the right thing. If Oswald worked for me, I would call him a hero or a courageous person with outstanding character.  Some paper-pusher at Wal-Mart chose, instead, to fire him for breaking company policy.    

Author’s Perspective #2 - Story Sends The Wrong Message: Society should be looking for good and decent people like this and rewarding this type of brave behavior, not punishing it. This relates to the blog I wrote earlier about the young boy coming to the aid of a fellow middle-school student who was being attacked and then suspended for his heroism. www.characterandleadership.blogspot.com/2013/06/we-dont-condone-heroics.html

These type of stories sends the wrong message to everyone  – don’t get involved, don’t help your fellow man, don’t think for yourself. I would like to send a different message – be self-reliant, use good judgment, your humanity comes before written policy.  I believe these stories are an oxymoron because we tell kids to help others in need, but… if you do, you might get punished. 

 Perspective #3 - It Shouldn't Take Public Scrutiny: Other local companies heard about Oswald’s heroism and he was offered multiple jobs. At the same time, public pressure started to mount, influencing Wal-Mart to reconsider their decision and offer Oswald his job back.  Go figure! 

Your Turn (1) respond via this blog, (2) comment on Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to @CDandLeadership using #CDandL):
1) Social Media Question:  What do you think of the way Wal-Mart handled this situation? Why?
2) Are there times when it is better to disobey the law, school rules or company policy? If so, give examples.
3) If you were in Krisopher Oswald's shoes and came across someone being victimized in a parking lot, what would you do?

Kentucky High Schools Ban Post-Game Handshakes

The Kentucky High School Athletic Association (KHSAA) has banned post-game handshakes between players from opposing high schools. The main reason for this new rule is that 24 fights have broken out in the state of Kentucky following high school athletic contests. The KHSAA warned schools that if the rule is disobeyed, the individual schools will be held responsible for the outcomes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RldUg5kISB0 (check out the story here)

Author's Perspective #1: This is a litigious society and organizations like the KHSAA have lawyers that advise them on legal concerns. There is no doubt that a lawyer told them, "If someone gets seriously injured as a result of these handshakes, the organization could be held responsible." So, some knucklehead at the top gets scared and makes an impulsive decision that protects the organization instead of looking at the larger picture.

Author's Perspective #2: What is the larger picture, you ask? The main reason for high school athletics is to promote competition & sportsmanship. Players and teams work hard to win their competitive matches, but whether a team wins or loses, it is important to show respect to the other team. It is through the post-game handshake that athletes learn words like grace, dignity and humility. The irony is the KHSAA is banning the very thing that is put into place to promote sportsmanship.

Author's Perspective #3: How many handshakes do you think took place in Kentucky after high school sporting events in the past two years? 100,000? 200,000? 1,000,000? I don't know, but it seems ridiculous to ban the entire practice due to 2 dozen fights. That is about one half of one half of one percent. We need to stop creating rules for a few bad apples and penalizing those who can handle themselves appropriately.

Author's Perspective #4: Just a thought, but instead of banning the post-game handshake, ban the players who get in fights. The KHSAA should take a page from last week's blog where Coach Labrum suspended his players for a lack of character. My guess is that if he were in charge in Kentucky, athletes would get the idea that fighting is not tolerated.

Your Turn (1) respond via this blog, (2) comment on Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to @CDandLeadership using #CDandL):
1) Social Media Question:  What do you think of the KHSAA rule of banning post-game handshakes?
2) If you were in Kentucky and you were told not to take part in the post-game handshake, what would you do? Why?
3) If you were the coach of a player who fought during a post-game handshake, how would you handle it?

High School Football Coach Susupends Players for Lack of Character

Some players were skipping classes, others were getting poor grades, others had a poor attitude and even a few were suspected of cyber bullying a fellow-student at the high school. The coaches at Union High School in Roosevelt, Utah, were displeased with the overall character of the football team. “We felt like everything was going in a direction that we didn’t want our young men going,” said head coach Matt Labrum. "We felt like we needed to make a stand."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqxJTxL5kyM (view the story)

And, take a stand is what the coaches did. The week before homecoming, Coach Labrum made every player turn in his jersey. He suspended all practices and games until the players made significant strides. Each player could earn their way back on the team by, (1) attending all classes, (2) providing community service, (3) attending a character education class and (4) attending study hall. In other words, the players had to get their act together and represent their school with pride.

Author's Perspective #1: I want to applaud the coaches for understanding their real role with these boys, which has nothing to do with winning and losing games. The first, second and third priorities of any high coach is to teach life lessons, prepare students for success after high school and instill character. Good coaches understand that winning is a natural by-product of successfully achieving these priorities on a consistent basis. It's easy to say it, but to put it into practice requires courage and integrity. 

Author's Perspective #2: I want to applaud the players for rising to the challenge. It would have been easy to complain, point fingers or quit. On some level, they were able to see the bigger picture and to embrace the life lesson. Each understood that it is a privilege to put on a jersey and represent their school. By meeting the coach's challenge, their season and their lives will be far greater. 

Author's Perspective #3: I want to applaud the parents of the players for trusting the coaches and allowing the process to unfold. It was important for each student to struggle through the turmoil, renew a commitment and change. Only a collection of wise and trusting parents could allow such a process to unfold.

Author's Perspective #4:  I ran cross country and track in high school. My coach, Jim Brandt, used to tell me that 20 years from now I will not remember the wins and losses. It will be the life lessons, the friendships and the commitment of working toward a common goal.  He was right.

This is the kind of story that truly inspires me. I commend Coach Labrum and his assistant coaches for creating lasting change in the lives of 80 student-athletes - and in the process - I hope they sent a larger message to the rest of America too. 

Your Turn (1) respond via this blog, (2) comment on Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to @CDandLeadership using #CDandL):
1) Social Media Question: Did the coaches go too far in this situation? How would you have responded if you were on that team?
2) Do you think the team will get stronger as a result of what the coaches did? In what ways?
3) These coaches believe it is a privilege to play high school sports. What do you think?

A Dairy Queen Employee Does the Right Thing - Integrity

Joey Prusak, a 19-year-old Dairy Queen manager, witnessed a blind man drop a $20 bill while standing in line. A woman who was standing behind the man in line picked up the $20 bill and stuck it in her purse. Joey came out from behind the cash register and confronted the woman, "I'm going to ask you politely to return his money." She said it was hers. Joey told her, "If you're not going to return the money, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Joey then walked up to the blind man, took $20 out of his wallet, and said, "On behalf of myself and Dairy Queen, we want to set things right."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J27Ty9iyJvg

Now, if that isn't impressive enough, Joey then... went back to work and didn't tell anyone what he did. He didn't brag about it to his boss, take $20 out the cash register to reimburse himself or do some celebratory touchdown dance. He merely went back to work. However, a customer who witnessed the entire incident wrote a complementary letter to the Dairy Queen Corporate Office. As you know in the world of social media, one thing led to another, and the story went viral.

Ordinary people wanted to recognize Joey for his integrity and honesty, so they started dropping by the Dairy Queen to give Joey $20. Warren Buffet, the second richest man in the world, called him on the phone, to commend him. Buffet, then invited Joey, who is majoring in business, to attend the annual share-holder's meeting via his private jet. My guess is that Joey will be offered a nice six figure job after he graduates from college. Not a bad $20 investment. 

Author's Perspective #1: One of the week 5 (honesty) ethical dilemma questions is, "Imagine that you found a  paper bag at school containing just over $300. Nobody saw you pick it up, and there was no identifying information on or in the bag. How would you handle this situation?" I then ask a follow up question, "What would a person of strong character do?" I use this follow up question to point out the difference between "what we would do," and "what we know to be right." The "right" thing is so obvious it hurts. There are no qualifications, "what if," "maybes" or "buts." We all know what a person of strong character would do, but unfortunately, most of my students qualify and quibble. Joey Prusak did not. When the moment arose, he boldly did the right thing at every step in this scenario. In fact, it is textbook - it could not have been drawn up any better.

Author's Perspective #2: On some level, I have to agree with Joey when he says that he doesn't understand what the big deal is. He just did what he would have done any other day. But, that's the point, isn't it? This points to his integrity and his beliefs about fairness, right vs. wrong and honesty. He is being celebrated right now because we see story after story about some fool who steals, cheats, or lies, and those cumulative stories cause people in this society to doubt humanity, and what it is becoming. People like Joey Prusak, remind us that society still has character, integrity, decency and humility. Joey teaches us that there is still a right and a wrong. The lady in line was wrong and Joey was right (period). For that, Joey is a positive role model, and I applaud him.

Author's Perspective #3: I will be sending Joey Prusak a copy of the Role Models textbook and a $20 bill. There are 1,600 schools using the Character Development & Leadership Curriculum. I estimate that 2,500 classes are being offered this semester across this country. If every one of those classes gathered $20 ($1 from every student) and sent it to Joey, that would be a total of $50,000. He has pledged to give all donations to charity. Given his integrity, I trust him to pass the money on to a good cause. Please join me in sending $20 donations to:
                   Dairy Queen - C/O Joey Prusak - 1800 Main Street - Hopkins, MN 55343

Your Turn: Tell me your thoughts about this story and my commentary. 
(1) respond via this blog, (2) comment on Facebook page (character development & leadership) or (3) tweet to @CDandLeadership using #CDandL)